When beginning the divorce process, many people picture going to court and telling the judge everything about the breakdown of their marriage. For some people, this thought is satisfying: It might give them a chance to prove that the world that they were right and their ex was wrong. For many others, the thought is deeply embarrassing.
The truth is that very few divorces resemble this fantasy, for good or bad.
There are still some divorces that can be resolved only in court, but the vast majority of divorces in Indiana are resolved out of court through negotiation. However, it’s important to note that negotiating a divorce settlement isn’t necessarily a whole lot easier than resolving a divorce in court.
In any negotiation, each party is trying to get the most it can. That’s true when two businesses are trying to negotiate a contract, and it’s true when two people are trying to negotiate a divorce settlement. However, the deeply personal nature of divorce can sometimes mean that hurt feelings get in the way of reaching a deal. The negotiations can drag on, and the bad feelings can end up lingering for a long time.
This can lead to a bad situation for everyone involved. It can be especially bad if there are children involved.
Mediation can help break through an impasse
One way to get out of this situation is by calling a neutral third party. This is the role of a mediator.
Unlike a judge, a mediator does not make a decision in a case. Rather, the mediator facilitates the negotiation, helping the sides — each represented by their own attorney — to reach agreement.
The process can help in many kinds of legal disputes, and it is especially well-suited to divorce and family law.
Keeping a sense of control
In some cases, there may be advantages to letting a judge decide the issues in a divorce, but in most cases, the parties are better off deciding their issues on their own. After all, who knows better about their finances and their children, a judge or the parties who are actually involved?
When the parties are able to decide their issues on their own, they have a greater feeling of control over the outcome. This tends to reduce the feelings of bitterness that can linger after a divorce.
This is particularly important for divorcing parents of young children. These parents will have to continue to cooperate with each other on parenting issues for years to come. For the mental health of their children, it’s important that they can remain civil with each other.
Time and money
Taking your divorce to court means waiting for the court to work you into its busy schedule. It can also mean court fees and preparation costs.
You can save some of that time and money if you negotiate your divorce settlement out of court. However, a difficult negotiation can take a long time, and its costs can add up. Among other advantages, mediation provides a way to reduce the time and cost of a negotiation.